


Buzzfeed Gets Them Eventually

by PennamePersona



Series: Clinic AU [18]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Gen, Happy Little Piece, M/M, Online Quizzes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2016-02-24
Packaged: 2018-05-22 22:36:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6096205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PennamePersona/pseuds/PennamePersona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ah yes, the age old question, plaguing philosophers from the dawn of time. </p><p>We all know it, we all understand, but one brave soul - Dave Strider - dares to ask it. </p><p>"What kind of fruit am I?"</p><p>A fluff piece based on a relentless headcanon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Buzzfeed Gets Them Eventually

**Author's Note:**

> So my friend and I have this headcanon that just won't go away so here's a fic about it, finally. Just a nice little fluff piece.

"So, Kanaya," Dave says as he sits down next to you on Rose's couch.

"Dave, no." Rose says from the kitchen, chopping up...something. You're distracted. You're still not used to being here, still not used to being a fixture in this person's home, still not used to it being a normal thing.

You're especially still not used to Dave.

"Shhhh," Dave says, directly his hushing towards the kitchen, then turning back towards you. "My lame sister aside, I have a very serious and important question for you."

"Alright," You say. "Though I must disagree with your analysis of your sister."

"Of course you do, that's why I like you." Dave says, then pauses. "One reason why I like you. Anyway. Important question time."

"Go ahead," You say, really not sure what to expect from him, never really sure what to expect from either of them, but at this point, you're more concerned about Dave.

That might be a lie actually, but regardless.

Expect the unexpected.

"What," He says, pulling down his shades and revealing his shockingly red eyes, still surprising though you've seen them before. "Kind of fruit am I."

It isn't phrased like a question, is your first thought, because your mind is very grammatical and annoying at times, and then his question catches up to you.

"What?" 

* * *

 

So, this is a thing. Hanging out with John's - your - friends is a thing.

Hanging out with Dave is a thing, which is actually kind of cool. You've come a long way from your douchebag first impressions of him, and to be fair, you probably seemed like a total dick to him at first. Being even fairer, you are kind of a dick. Even Kanaya says so sometimes, and she's your stanchest defender.

Sort of sad that even your staunchest defender says you're kind of a dick, but hey, life, anger problems that have gotten better but still exist.

Back to the topic of Dave.

You like the guy, you honestly do. You genuinely enjoy Dave's company. You just don't... _get_ him.

And judging by Kanaya's reactions to him, neither does she. You're not convinced that anyone does, except maybe Rose, who doesn't count.

"So, Karkitten," He begins from his position on your couch (why is he even here? Oh, that's right, Rose is here and that means that Dave is also automatically included in the equation. The stories Kanaya has told you...).

You stop him there.

"No," You say. "No Karkitten. That's only a family thing."

"C'mon man, we're practically family." He says. You shrug, willing the concede to that point.

"Only family I'm intimidated into respect by." You amend.

"Fair." He says, though you know he won't stop. "Anyway. Karkat, my man, my dude, my guy. I've got an important question for you."

Oh no, you think.

"Oh no," You say.

"It's not bad," He defends, sitting up from his formerly sprawled out state. "Just a quick question."

"Fine," You say. "Shoot."

"Would you say that I'm more of the living personification of glitter or sequins?" He says, and you just look at him, turning your head slowly.

"What the fuck?" 

* * *

 

"Peanut butter and honey or classic PB&J?"

"Hm....classic. You're a sucker for classics."

"True."

"How about me, gothic candles or satin curtains?"

"Ooo, that's a tough one. I'd have to say...candles."

"Hm. I'll give you that."

"Apples or - "

"You've already done that one before."

"Oh hey, I have. Thanks."

"Naturally."

Karkat is standing next to you in your kitchen, staring at Rose and Dave in the living room. You've got everyone over at your place because everyone is awesome and you're an adult who can do house parties, even though Rose says this doesn't count, but you countered that she was lame and didn't count, to which she did not respond, and Dave says that means you win.

Karkat's still staring, and much as you're cool with just hanging out in his presence, you're getting sort of worried.

"Uhm. Karkat? Buddy? Pal? Love of my - " You start, and then he puts a hand out.

"Sh. Observing." He says, very seriously for a guy staring at two of his friends just chatting.

"Observing what, exactly?" You inquire, very reasonably, or so you think.

"That. This. Them. Just." He says, articulately. "What the hell are they doing?"

Oooohhhhhhhh, right. That.

"Oh, that's right, you don't know, do you?" You say, and he shoots you a Look.

"No, John, obviously I fucking don't. Care to enlighten me, oh wise one?" He says, with more sarcasm than the situation warrants, frankly, so of course you laugh.

"Sure thing, babydoll, anything for you." You say, and notice his Fucking Hell John Why Are You So Cheesy expression that you think he might have gotten from Kanaya. You're not sure yet.

"Dave has this kind of mild obsession with online quizzes." You say. "It sort of transferred over to Rose because, you know," And here you just gesture with your hands and he nods in understanding because it's the perfect description of Dave and Rose, obviously. "So they just do this sometimes. Take quizzes, ask for each other's opinions. They do it to other people, too, but it's mostly Dave that does that. And without context."

"Holy shit," Karkat whispers. "It makes so much sense now. That's what that was."

"Probably, yeah." You say. "Dave's kind of a character."

"Duh," Karkat says, which is sort of fair.

"Anyway, instead of observing Dave and Rose and their weird habits, we could go over there and "make snacks" for a while." You say, wiggling your eyebrows.

Karkat gives you another Look, but you know what he means.

Later, when he says "You're an idiot, John." you know to respond with "I love you, too, Karkitten."

And when he groans out of frustration, you just rub his back and make comforting noises.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it, kudos are rad, comments are GREAT, I'm at pennamepersona.tumblr.com and I love this verse and talking about stuff like it and also saying how awful the word inflammable is.
> 
> [Buy me a coffee!](https://ko-fi.com/A375K8Q)


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